Confession. Lately my morning ritual has gone as follows: Wake up. Talk to God while I get ready. Check Facebook. See new engagement post. Wonder why it wasn’t me…
And at times I dwell on it, taking the pep out of my step as I proceed with my day. I tell myself that there are some things I can simply never measure up to, until I do __________.
I know I’m not alone in thinking this way. It’s like a disease every person has to fight: The “I’m not good enough” monster.
It happens in love. A few years ago, I experienced heartbreak when the person I was with chose to marry someone else. All I could think to do was compare. “She’s a better choice,” I guessed. And I was devastated.
It happens at work. A few months ago, my friend exclaimed that she got a promotion at her job, and I congratulated her while observing the attributes that she had and I didn’t. “The biggest personality gets the promotion,” was my conclusion. I commenced the list of everything I needed to change about myself in order to be successful, too.
It happens with friends. Just the other day, I heard about my old classmate who’s living out his childhood dream of traveling the world in a tour bus full of hipster musicians. I catch myself thinking how freely he probably enjoys life, and I conclude that I must not be living a life of real excitement. “The free spirit gets the adventure,” I assume.
But here is what I am learning. There’s no easy answer, no straight ticket or overnight shipping when it comes to these things.
It’s the crazy wheel of God’s timing, whenever He decides to land the pointer on your next step. We’re not supposed to hold all the answers in our hands; we are simply supposed to trust God with them.
Soon we will look back and realize that it all makes sense, and it was all worth the wait. In the meantime, I’m starting to see the joy in being exactly where I am at.